The Warzone

A hospital trip, one might think its a time to get your health back in order and to promote healing.

Posh!

If you’ve ever had to deal with a larger city E.R. then you might know the troubles of getting any doctor to understand your aches and pains or in my case cronic illness. I have Crohn’s Disease and through the years its been passed off as “bad food” and even “pregnancy”, which I can’t be.

This past week I had the wonderful joy of going to the E.R. and after many hours of sitting in a waiting room I’m finally seen. I explain whats going on and all the issues that I’ve been dealing with. After blood work and a few other various tests are done its time for the Battle to begin. Should they keep me or let me go home without doing anything.

As it happens this time they decided to accept me as a guest(ha!). Turns out that not only do I have an inflamation of my Crohn’s but I also have a Kidney Infection. NO FUN! All seemed to be going ok until the next evening(only because it took this long for them to decide if they were going to keep me or not so I had been stuck in the E.R.). Thats when it happens. Some how my IV line slipped and was pushing the fluids under my skin instead of in the vein. Not good.

Let the hell begin!

They removed the bad line and quickly started in putting in a new one, no go, my poor body is so dehydrated that my veins are clasping(spelling?). I ended up with more holes then most noodle strainers. Eight in one arm, three in the other…the nurses finally gave up. The call goes out, bring in higher ranking troops, the doctors. The doctors come in and flip me into a bat pose(feet above the head kinda thing) and go for the neck. Four “little pricks”(yes thats how the doctor said it would be) later, nothing. Then they were really posessed or something. I’ve always heard the rule, try and try again, well these doctors really took that saying to heart. They decided to put in a central line(for those that don’t know, its a vein that goes dirrectly to the heart) via the inner thigh. That’s right, right at my bikini line.

I know your saying ouchies huh? Yeah well, I didn’t say that exactly. They first numbed it up and went after it. Btw, numbing it doesn’t take away the pain, it still hurt really really bad. I think I woke-up every person on floor(it was after midnight when they were doing this). I screamed, I cried, I begged for my mommy. No luck, just pain.

Finally they finish, add a lil tape and all done.

The sad thing is morphine normally puts me straight to sleep, not this time, it didnt even cut the pain.

The evil people leave and I sorta regain my thought and went to get up. No can do. (WARNING THIS IS THE REALLY GRAPHIC AREA) I was laying in a pool of blood, not just blood on the sheets, no it had actually pooled. If I would have moved blood would have went everywhere. So, I called the nurse, I mean thats what the buttons for right? No luck, they were all busy with other people, most likely since I woke them up lol. Well, after 20 mins. of waiting a nurse finally comes and I get what I needed to clean myself and the bed up.

I bet your glad that parts over huh? Me too!

A little bit later the nurse comes in and tells me the doctor wants to clean my system(for those of you that dont know, trust me you dont want to). No problem, I’ve done this before. Then problem hits, my bathroom light goes out and I can’t see a darn thing, ugggg. Porta-potty, oh joy, NOT!

Ok I’m going to skip a bunch of details cause you really dont want to know I’m sure.

The next day I had my procedure, went off without a single problem. Matter fact the meds they gave me were so good, I don’t remember the entire day. Even though my husband swears I was awake for some of it.

All went fairly well for the rest of my stay, until time to go. What goes in, must come out. Time to remove the central line they so lovingly added. This went much easier. One huge problem. Tape! I firmly think that if an A-bomb were to hit, two things would survive, surgical tape and politicians(ok so maybe I shouldn’t give up my day job huh?). But I swear if they were going for a bikini wax, they forgot the other side. Ouchies!

I finally got to go home, where I am now relaying this story to ya’ll, relaxing in my bed. Thanking the heavens that I’m back home.

So next time you have a loved one in the hospital and they look like death-warmed-over, don’t be quick to blame it on their health, it could be the doctors lol. Hope everyone has a great week.

Quote of the Day: “The mathematician has reached the highest rung on the ladder of human thought.” ~Havelock Ellis