Only The Lonely

Let me put in a few warnings before you begin reading:
1) There isn’t to be any awww pity-party thinking..this blog is to make you laugh.
2) This post will be long and if you need to pee do it now.
3) Bad dialogue ahead.

You’ve been warned.

Did you know that having a illness like mine tends to leave you a very lonely sort. Now I can’t blame everything on my illness but I do anyhow. The other reasons I’m SO LONELY is when we moved to Dallas I didn’t know anyone. After four years, I still don’t know anyone. Why? Because I don’t drive. I rarely go anywhere.

Ok there was the part that might make you buy balloons for the pity party.

Here are some of the things I’ve done in my desperation to feed my leo ego…

Telemarketers:
These people, in my opinion, ask for it. And I’m thinking I should be getting, on average, ten thank you cards from everyone else.

I have actually been so bored and in need of human contact that I’ve chit-chatted with a telemarketer. She called to sell me magazines and I talked with her for just over an hour. Of course, I don’t think she was none too happy about this (which is where the thank you cards come in).

The phone rang…”Hello”

“You’ve just won a trip to the Virgin Islands,” the voice announces.

Great, I always wanted to go but since I think anyone calling me, telemarket-style, is a scam.

So I reply, “Well, can I trade the trip in for something in the states? I’ve heard tourist get killed over there. Is that true?”

After a small pause, “I don’t know”

I have stunned her, I can tell hehe.

After regaining her thoughts on what she was suppose to do she goes into the sales-pitch.

“Well, the reason I called today is to enter your name into our vacation giveaway. We only need to sign you up for six magazines of your choice.”

I’m sitting there with very evil thoughts swimming through my head.

Nicely I ask, “What type of magazines?”

“We have Rolling Stone, Entertainment Weekly, –”

I bust in, “Oh I have those magazines and don’t like them. Did you know that no matter what it is, if they like it I dont. Why do they pick such rotten movies to list as their favorites? Are they trying to win brownie points with Hollywood?”

I listen…nothing.

Well I’m going to save you from the rest of the phone call but it went just about like above. In the end she actually hung up on me. Have you ever had a telemarketer hang up on you? I can honestly say I have.

You may wonder if I’m truly that deseperate. Yes I am. I am married, don’t get me wrong but you know men aren’t exactly girlie chit-chat ready. I don’t know if there is a boot disk for this or not. Perhaps its an upgrade? I dont know.

The husband
This is how a typical girlie chat goes with my husband:

“Honey, did you know that Lisa Kleypas and Karen Hawkins have a book coming out at the same time next week?”

Looking up from his 4×4 truck magazine, he replies “Really? Look, this truck only has a four inch lift. It doesn’t look that tall does it?”

I’m wondering where I went wrong in stating this chit-chat was on romance novels? He’s met both Karen and Lisa so he knows who I’m refering to. So where did I go wrong? Simple guys aren’t worthy of girlie talk.

So this leaves me with the typical friends and family members. (another aww moment) In truth, I don’t talk much with my mom, mostly because she has this guilt-trip thing that works no matter what. So to avoid doing something I might not want to..calls to my mom are limited. Friends are out of the question because after growing up, getting married and all that we’ve all moved apart some. Yes we still talk from time to time but nothing like we use to. What I mean by that is a daily calling is now to two or three online quick chats.

Now that is explained this leaves me with my last and final resort to human contact of the female kind. You know, the being able to talk about romance books, cats and any other girlie topic I want.

Online friends
You might feel the most for these group of people.

I sit around on the internet and wait. Like a lioness waiting to pounce on her prey. Prey=buddy list. I see a name pop-up and I give them a few moments to adjust to being online..you know, closing all that junk that pop-ups when you get on. Then I pounce, claws ready to grab on and hold tight. Ok, seriously I’m not that bad. Some might think but I think most of my buddy list has me on ignore anyhow haha.

However, I do have a few buddies that are just as lonely and desperate as I am so we pounce eachother. This equals about four (sometimes more) hours of entertainment. I love it. Since, I’m an open person I can talk about anything.

Where you should really feel sorry for those on my buddy list is when we do chat I type fast. I get so excited at the thought of someone chatting with me that my fingers go into overdrive. Some of my buddies can’t type that fast on their best days. So I end up typing circles around them. This could be why so many have me on ignore lol.

I can type so fast when I’m excited and in a good topic that I’ve actually had a friend tell me to wait so she could catch up. Never mind the fact that I had typed about six lines to her one.

Well now you know my sad life..where is the party again? Just teasing. I hope you’ve had a few laughs. And just so you know I’m still awaiting those thank you cards for keeping at least one telemarketer off your back.

After you post your reply be sure to send me your messenger ID so I can add you to my buddy list. I’d love to chat with you.

Hehe, Hope you have a wonderful day.

Quote: “Hey babe, did you know that these rims will fit our truck?” My husband..I think I’m going to start refering to him as Truck Dude.