Lessons I’ve Learned…
Posted on Tuesday, October 18, 2005 at 11:58 pmCategory: Uncategorized
This is going to be a wide-range topic. Why? Cause I said so.
1. Going to a doctors appt. is an all day event.
Lesson: Pack books, magazines, mp3 player, snacks, blanket, pillow (bed if you can fit it in your bag).
Why: Because your doctor is going to make you wait all day and just when he thinks you’ve waited long enough…he’s going to let you wait five more minutes for good luck.
2. You can never have enough meds.
Lesson: The more meds you take, the more troubles you have. The more troubles you have, the more meds you take.
Why: Because your doctor loves seeing his name on paper and is more than willing to write you a prescription on just about anything.
3. Hospital food is the best food in the world.
Lesson: Never trust your taste-buds…they lie.
Why: Because after a long stay in the hospital with nothing more than a liquid diet anything that doesnt involve water-type foods is heavenly.
4. Men have one-track minds.
Lesson: Never give them more than one task to complete.
Why: Because anything else will be forgotten and then left for you to do.
5. Money does not grow on trees.
Lesson: When your broke everyone and their dog wants money from you.
Why: Because they know you dont have it and have to make up reasons why you dont have it…it entertains your bill collectors.
6. Wearing white is never a good thing.
Lesson: Anything white attracts dark colors.
Why: No matter how careful you are whatever your eating/drinking/or just touching will spill on the outfit and stain it forever.
7. Dogs are loyal, Cats have staff.
Lesson: Don’t make your boss angry, they will pee on your bed.
Why: Because cats are moody and don’t like their staff to talk back.
8. Never buy anything new.
Lesson: Anything new will be outdated the second you take it home.
Why: Because sales people wont tell you that a newer model will be out next week or that the item your looking at is going on sale tomorrow.
9. Cell phones are demonic.
Lesson: Trying to get a signal is a worthless time wasting effort.
Why: Because no matter how well they work in movies, they never work that well in real life.
10. Don’t knock something until you’ve tried it.
Lesson: Other people can make things seem easier than they really are.
Why: They are talented like that.
11. Never rush your computer.
Lesson: If you need online at a certain time, take time to get online.
Why: Because pc’s can be moodie things and really hate being rushed. If rushed they will shut off and ingore you.
12. Watching tv is a waste of energy.
Lesson: Reality is what your living.
Why: Because of lack of imagination the only thing on tv is “fake” reality shows.
13. Humor is a treasure..guard it.
Lesson: Smiling actually makes you feel good.
Why: Because of the reality shows, live is depressing enough.
14. Renting movies is fun.
Lesson: Going to the movies is highly over-rated.
Why: Because even if your next to the only person in the theatre the other people will have a screaming baby/child.
15. Broken bones are not fun.
Lesson: If left untreated they will come back to haunt you.
Why: Just because doctors know everything they can overlook the easy stuff.
16. Make-up does not fix ugly.
Lesson: Just because someone is beautiful does not mean they are pretty.
Why: Because make-up cant cover-up meanness.
17. In-laws should be loved from afar.
Lesson: Putting two queens in one house spells disaster.
Why: Only one can rule at a time.
18. Cars/trucks and men go hand-and-hand.
Lesson: Don’t try to break them up, they have an emotional bond.
Why: Because the car will break-down and cry, forcing the man to give it even more attention.
19. Books are best enjoyed with no one around.
Lesson: This is why so many people stay so long in the restroom.
Why: Because alone time is hard to come by.
20. Addictions come in all shapes and sizes.
Lesson: People with addictions never admit to them.
Why: Ohh please, I dont have a problem. You must have me confused with someone else. Truly I can quit at anytime.
Well I hope I made you laugh..Have a good day.
BTW don’t tell my boss (Amie the cat) that I was bad-mouthing her.
October 19th, 2005 05:42
Re #12 — 9 times out of 10, if I sit in front of a television, I fall asleep. If I pick up a book, I can’t fall asleep. I agree with you. Lot of other ones too, but this one stuck out because I tried to watch some TV today and ended up napping.
October 19th, 2005 07:52
Hee hee, Haven. I needed that before going off to work this morning. Well done.
October 20th, 2005 04:22
I’m so glad I could make you laugh. I had tons of fun making this list. Of course it was easy to make, just think of things that get on your nerves and bingo, you have a list lol.
But with me I’m always a “cup half full” type person so I tend to find the bright-side of everything.
Btw the bright-side of me having to take over 200 pills a week is that someone else wont have to…because the RX shop is out of pills thanks to me hahaha.